Like many others around the world, I made several resolutions for this New Year. I resolved to do more in the name of Jesus: attend daily Mass, renew my devotion to Our Lady and the His Divine Mercy, to seek the intercession of saintly fathers (e.g., Saint Joseph), to evangelize by example (and words if necessary).
But I find it difficult to actually implement these actions. I tend to make plenty of excuses for not meeting being the Christian that Our Lord wants me to be. This, I am sure is displeasing to Christ but the tendency to continue on a path of depravity is lined with world pleasures. I can surf the net instead of going to Mass. I can watch TV instead of praying. I can write this post instead of working. You get the idea.
However, because God never ceases calling out towards us and our hearts, as Saint Augustine so rightly stated, “Are restless until they rest in [Him],” you can spot the Holy Spirit working in your life – if you open your heart and your eyes to the Lord. Today, I had such an experience.
While on my morning commute, I found myself groggy and filled with complacency, yet I found inspiration. Sitting across from me was an older man who, like me, was commuting to work. In his hand I spotted a Rosary. It was worn and broken. The remnants of this Rosary, which looked very similar to mine, was the Crucifix, the five beads leading to the Miraculous Medal and enough beads to pray at least one decade. The man; head bowed, fingers strumming the beads and lips moving; seemed to be praying.
As I looked on I felt a tug at my heart and in my mind I thought, “Why aren’t you praying the Rosary like you used to?” Whether it was me, Our Lady, or a prompting from the Holy Spirit, the answer to the question was clear for. I had no justification for not praying. I have an hour or so long commute and I used to find time to pray every morning but I ceased to do so. The result of this was a spiral towards apathy and darkness in my soul. Something that I did not being to take note of until just a couple of days ago.
Well, I hesitated a bit (using the possibility of not being able to complete the Rosary as an excuse), but again felt a question being asked of me, “Why are you hesitating?” I did not hesitate any longer and proceeded to pull out my Rosary and pray. My prayer was distracted and I longed to close my eyes but in doing so, finding myself drifting to sleep, so I kept them open. I did my best and prayed with my heart finding that I had plenty of time afterward to reflect on the Seven Habits of being a successful Christian.
Now that I have found a renewed zeal for my prayer life, I must act upon that and to the single most important thing I can do today (in the words of Father Al Lauer) – attend Mass.
A request to those who may read my posts, please pray for me. Pray that I have the zeal to live a more Christ-centered life; that I have the will to attend daily Mass and begin my day with prayer and thanksgiving to God.
Thank you all in advance and God bless.